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Furry humor, vtipy, zabava   (4224)
Vsechno furry vtipne... :) Furry a zvireci vtipy, zabavne furry a zvireci obrazky...
Lahky yiff povolen :)
diskuze nad vtipy s mirou, masivni offtopic se bude mazat
obcas promazavam nefunkcni obrazky ci opakujici se vtipy
 
na stránku
Poslat zprávu uživateli Wolferine
Wolferine      ---   10:39   05.01. 2005 
> Zvířátka jela na dovolenou a chovala se jako lidé:
> Lišák jel s milenkou...
> Osel jel s manželkou...
> Vůl s celou rodinou...
> Kanec jel sám a čekal, která svině se k němu přidá...
Poslat zprávu uživateli minon
minon      ---   18:44   04.01. 2005 
Poslat zprávu uživateli Wolferine
Wolferine      ---   11:17   04.01. 2005 
Poslat zprávu uživateli minon
minon      ---   13:57   03.01. 2005 
Poslat zprávu uživateli minon
minon      ---   13:57   03.01. 2005 
medved ve spreji

[Vlk00 ---14:31   04.01 05]
minon T: 13:57 D: 03.01 05 - mozna bych ten titulek opravil na medved ve spreji. Ono to totiz funguje presne naopak :>


[Příspěvek byl upraven 2005-01-04 18:46:52]
Poslat zprávu uživateli Foxheart
Foxheart      ---   02:34   30.12. 2004 
David dostal k narozeninam papouska. Dospeleho, s prisernym chovanim a jeste horsim slovnikem. Kazde druhe slovo bylo sproste. Ta slova, ktera nebyla sprosta, byla alespon urazliva. David se snazil papoucha prevychovat, neustale na nej vlidne hovoril, hral mu jemnou hudbu, delal vsechno, co ho jen napadlo, aby mu dal dobry priklad. Nic nepomahalo. Rval na papoucha a papouch na nej rval nazpatek. Trasl jim ale to papoucha jen rozcililo a byl jeste sprostsi. Nakonec papoucha v nejvetsim zoufalstvi strcil do mrazaku. Nejakou chvili se ozyvalo kviceni, kopani a krik. Pak vse ztichlo a pul minuty bylo ticho. David se vydesil, ze se papouchovi neco stalo a rychle otevrel dvere. Papouch pokorne vystoupil z mrazaku, vkracel do Davidovych nastavenych rukou a rekl: "Domnivam se, ze jsem vas patrne urazil svym neomalenym jazykem a akcemi. Budu usilovat o to, abych to napravil. Je mi to opravdu lito a prosim o odpusteni." David uzasl nad tou zmenou ptakova chovani a chystal se zeptat, co zapricinilo tu dramatickou zmenu, kdyz tu ptak pokracoval: "A mohu se zeptat, co provedlo kure?"
Poslat zprávu uživateli Weredragon
Weredragon      ---   20:23   29.12. 2004 
Sorry, že to nepřekládám, ale chci to zanechat v originále tak jak jsem to slyšel :p

Q. What do female elephants wear as tampons???
A. SHEEP.
Q. Why do elephants have trunks?
A. Because a sheep doesn't have a string on the end.
--------------------------
A farmer had a lone horse in one of his remote pastures adjacent to a swamp. To
pass the time, the horse had made friends with a rabbit who lived nearby. They
would run and play day in and day out, romping to their hearts' content. Until,
one day, the horse ran too far and stumbled into a pit of quicksand. Unable to
move, and quickly sinking, the horse told the rabbit, "Quick, run and tell the
farmer to grab a rope and bring his tractor over here to pull me out!"
They rabbit dashed madly over to the farmhouse and yelled repeatedly for the
farmer to come out. There was no response. Realizing that the farmer wasn't
coming out, the rabbit threw a rope into the farmer's Mercedes and drove back
to the quicksand. He tied one end of the rope to the bumper of the Mercedes and
tossed the other end to the horse.
The horse grasped the end of the rope tightly between his teeth as the rabbit
hopped back in the car and slowly dragged his friend to safety.
* * * *
Some months later, the horse and rabbit were once again frolicking merrily in
the pasture. The rabbit, not looking where he was going, stumbled and landed in
the middle of the quicksand pit. "Hurry!" the rabbit yelled. "Run over to the
farmhouse and tell the farmer to bring his Mercedes!"
Eyeballing the pit, the horse said, "You know, that pit isn't too wide. I bet I
can stradle it!" And with that, the horse cautiously straddled the pit until he
was directly above the rabbit.
"Now," said the horse, as he began to unsheath his penis, "Grab hold, and I'll
pull you out!" Reaching up, the rabbit grabbed hold of the horse's ample member
and was pulled quickly to safety.
So, the moral of the story is:
"When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes!"
-------------------------------
The lion and the the mouse are in the bar, having buddy-talk, when the giraffe
comes in, winks her big brown eyes at them, and sits down at the end of the
bar. So the lion tells the bartender to buy the lady a drink.
After a few more winks and drinks, the lion decides it's time to make his move.
"What?!" cries the mouse. "She's gorgeous. You'll never get anywhere with her!"
"Sure I will," the Lion says. "You just wait here and watch me."
With that, the lion sidles up to the giraffe and flirts with her, and 15
minutes later, they're going out the door. "Wait for me," the lion whispers to
his friend the mouse. "I'll be back in half an hour."
Sure enough, half an hour later, the lion and the giraffe come back, the
giraffe goes to her barstool, and the lion comes back to his buddy, the mouse.
"How'd it go? How'd it go?!?" asks the mouse.
"FANTASTIC!" answers the lion. "Best fuck I ever had."
"Oh, oh, oh. I'm gonna try it," the mouse says.
"Well, good luck, little buddy," the lion encourages his little friend.
So the mouse tells the bartender to buy the lady a drink, goes over to the
giraffe, strikes up a conversation with her, and 15 minues later they're
walking out the door together. "Wait here," the mouse whispers to his friend,
the lion.
"I'll be back in half an hour."
Well, a half an hour goes by. Then 45 minutes, then an hour. Then two hours.
Then three. At last, the mouse and the giraffe come back, the giraffe goes to
her barstool, and the mouse drags himself over to his buddy, the lion. The
mouse is all ragged, and sweaty, and exhausted, wiped out; a real wreck of a
mouse.
"How was it? How was it?," the lion asked.
"Oh, it was terrible. It was awful," said the mouse. "It's the worst fuck I
ever had in my life!!!"
"Why?" exclaimed the lion. "What happened?"
"Well, it was going great, at first ..."
"Yes, yes? And then?"
"Well, between kissing her and fucking her, I musta run a hundred miles!!"
Poslat zprávu uživateli Wolferine
Wolferine      ---   20:05   23.12. 2004 
Poslat zprávu uživateli kordus
kordus      ---   11:47   21.12. 2004 
Když budou ty vánoce...

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